Resolutions

I guess I have New Years resolutions on my mind today. I always look for times to have new starts in my life and this one is pretty natural. So here are some that I’ve been thinking of.

Resolution #1 - To spend more committed time in prayer

My time spent with God has grown over the years. I’ve really been trying to learn what it means to pray all the time and it is reflected in my life. I often give God a 5-10 second update on my life or to ask him to comfort a friend and to even ask how I could be His voice in a conversation. I have learned to have frequent, short times with God but I think that as I’ve emphasized that in my life I have under appreciated the times of committed, lengthy, unhindered times to spend with God to praise Him, to recommit my life to Him and to ask Him to be visible in the lives of those around me and in the world.

If I don’t spend dedicated times in prayer about everything in my life to God then what I’m really saying is that I can do it all myself. And I’ve realized very evidently that when I rely on myself that I will screw things up.

1 Cor 3:19 “The wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight.”

And so I may as well trust in God who has yet to let me down rather than trusting myself because I’m pretty ridiculously powerless to change much of anything.

It’s pretty amazing too that God tells us to ask him for things and says that He wants to give us things and yet we don’t ask.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

(Matthew 7:7-11 ESV)

Spoiler Alert: This story is ludicrous!

A few years ago I was talking with a student and I asked him if he had a Bible to which he responded, “No.” Below is how the conversation continued:

Russ – Oh, would you like one?

Student – Yeah

Russ – Ok, I can get you one

Student – No, it’s ok

Russ – But you want one right?

Student – Oh yeah, I really want one

Russ – Well I have a bunch in my office that I can get for you. Just ask for one

Student – No that’s ok, I don’t want to inconvenience you

Russ – It’s no inconvenience at all in fact it would be the best part of my day to give you a Bible, it’s just a 10 second walk away! (Yeah, I’m annoyed by this point)

Student – No that’s fine, but thanks

Russ - So you want one

Student - Yeah

Russ - And I can get you one

Student - I guess

Russ - But you don't want to ask for it

Student - I don't want to bother you

Russ- IT WON'T BE A BOTHER!!!!!

This conversation continued for way too long! It ended by him never asking for one and for me walking away in complete frustration because my greatest joy was left unfulfilled.

I often think that this depicts our relationship with God. God tells us to ask for things from Him and to learn his heart and He tells us not only to ask but that it will bring Him great joy to ask and yet we say, “I believe in you God. I love you. But who am I to ask you for anything? Thanks but…” 

I think that God is often completely frustrated at the end of our times together because His greatest joy was left unfulfilled. His greatest joy is to give good gifts to His kids. 

It is my resolution to want more of what God has for me this year by seeking His heart and asking for it. 

"So God this year I ask that our relationship would blossom and I seek that I would know your heart more clearly. That your character would be revealed through me. That your life would be reflected brilliantly in my actions or my lack of action, through my words or to know when to shut up, through my thoughts or turning some thoughts off, through what I see and what I turn my eyes from, through where I go and where I decide not to venture, through how I spend my time and not waste it. I want you to be my one and only. I want you. Thank you for wanting so much for me. Let me see you." 

A prayer by St Francis of Assisi that I commit to memorize with my son this year:

Lord,

make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred may I sow love

Where there is offence may I sow pardon

Where there is discord may I sow union

Where there are doubts may I sow faith

Where there are errors may I sow truth

Where there is despair may I sow hope

Where there is sadness may I sow joy

Where there is darkness may I sow light.

Divine Master,

Do that I seek more

To console than to be consoled.

To understand than to be understood

To love than to be loved.

For it is in giving that we receive

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.